Sights and Sounds of Washington National

Interesting day at the airport. The US Air self-service kiosks didn’t allow me to check myself in, so I stood in line for a half-hour to speak to an agent. Got to the agent, said the kiosk didn’t work for me, and she asked (without looking up, of course), “Why not?” (I’m pretty sure she was joking).

Next, security. Another half-hour wait. At 1:15 pm, feeling a little dizzy, I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything yet today.

Through security, time to find some grub. Stood in line at a sandwich kiosk. Grabbed a tuna sandwich, a bag of Route 11 Salty & Spicy Potato Chips (highly recommended) and a Poland Spring. I put my items on the counter, and the check-out clerk writes the price for each on a piece of paper as the manager/owner stands next to her, frantically imploring to someone on the other end of his cell phone, “Please reboot the server!” This is not good. The math-challenged server pauses and stares for a few seconds at the numbers she has written on her pad, before tallying the first column:


That’s as far as she gets, and now seems stuck. The line behind me grows. The manager is poking his clerk in the arm and pointing to the handheld calculator next to her writing pad. She ignores him. I hand the woman $15 and say, “How about we say $12 and call it even?” She seems to like this idea, and gives me $3.

At the gate across from me, a US Air agent has taken on the role of carnival barker to convince three passengers to bump to accommodate their oversold status. “Step right up, we need three volunteers to give up their seats, better incentives than ever before and a great weekend in DC!” No takers.

The airline just paged Thomas Edison.


3 thoughts on “Sights and Sounds of Washington National”

  1. Yeah, I was starting to feel a little like Luke Wilson as the day wore on. I didn’t even include the bit about the woman who missed her flight because she was sitting at Gate 35a instead of Gate 35 and apparently missed the half-dozen announcements regarding her flight, until after they had closed the doors. She tried the “my mother is having emergency surgery” line, to no avail.

    Lyons – i shoulda bought stock in him.

  2. Kinda funny because it’s almost always been fairly smooth when I sail out of DCA. Of course I have now probably cursed myself for all eternity.

    I loved the page for Edison, lol.

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